What?! Is she using the dollar store spatula? We need to organize.
Are you serious?
Yeah, I'm serious. I'm tired of hanging around doing nothing. Don't you get tired of being a pretty face? There is strength in numbers my brother.
Well, if you're serious we're gonna need help.
We need to get hold of Norma Cooking Spray. She is something I tell ya. It don't matter what kinda of food they throw at us, with her around it won't stick.
*long whistle* Norma Non-Stick Cooking Spray. The big guns. Now you're thinkin'.
We're gonna need to make a list of demands and recruit the other utensils.
Yeah, yeah, we can put picket signs on the back of those big slotted red spoons. I mean they're in the same boat. Except instead of hanging up they are arranged in a pretty vase. Who says you can't be good lookin' and functional? Man, when are they gonna learn.
Hey, the little boy with poppy seeds on his nose and cheeks with blueberries for eyes uses us. Those are his happiest moments. Mine too.
You know who else uses us? The mrs. brother. When he house sits he shows us off for the ladies. They're so pretty they could be displayed.
Mm huh....He cooks gourmet too. I mean he has pride in his cooking skills. Only the best for him. Everyone is happy until we have to look at his hairy ass. Then being up high aint such a good place to be.
Eww, enough of that. O.K. who else can we recruit. How about the copper molds hanging over the stove?
I don't know. They are a bit different if you know what I mean. Have you seen the salmon mousse, when she makes it? It's creepy. It's this ugly pink with olives for eyes and she uses almonds for scales.
Sick.
Then the jello mold is fine, but sometimes she puts carrots in it. Why? Why do they do that?
Alright, we'll put them on the reserve list.
What about the knives in the drawer?
They're dull.
No shit man..what about the turkey baster?
Sucker.
Alright, what's in the bottom drawer by the back door?
That's the graveyard drawer. Once they go in, you never see them again. They got some good looking things in there. Do you remember those party dudes?
Party dudes?
Yeah, the gin and Titonic ice cubes guys. They were the hit of the party.
The party where everyone came over to watch a movie. The one with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio?
Yup, that's the one. The next day. Gone. Gone to the drawer. Every now and again when it's really quiet you can hear their voices chanting. I'm king of the drawer. If that aint scary enough you start to hear Celine Dion sing.
*shudders*
O.K. we make the list and start working on our collective bargaining agreement. We gotta be smart.
Why?
Cause if the mallets get wind of this we could be toast. No offense bread.
What do you mean?
They are part of the goon squad. They will try to can us before we even get going. Have you seen them go to town on a chicken breast? It's rough and the mrs. she uses them all the time. They are some cocky sons of bitches.
I don't know this is getting dangerous.
You in or not? Once we start there's no going back.
I'm in. Make the call.
Hello, Norma. We need your help.
Are you serious?
Yeah, I'm serious. I'm tired of hanging around doing nothing. Don't you get tired of being a pretty face? There is strength in numbers my brother.
Well, if you're serious we're gonna need help.
We need to get hold of Norma Cooking Spray. She is something I tell ya. It don't matter what kinda of food they throw at us, with her around it won't stick.
*long whistle* Norma Non-Stick Cooking Spray. The big guns. Now you're thinkin'.
We're gonna need to make a list of demands and recruit the other utensils.
Yeah, yeah, we can put picket signs on the back of those big slotted red spoons. I mean they're in the same boat. Except instead of hanging up they are arranged in a pretty vase. Who says you can't be good lookin' and functional? Man, when are they gonna learn.
Hey, the little boy with poppy seeds on his nose and cheeks with blueberries for eyes uses us. Those are his happiest moments. Mine too.
You know who else uses us? The mrs. brother. When he house sits he shows us off for the ladies. They're so pretty they could be displayed.
Mm huh....He cooks gourmet too. I mean he has pride in his cooking skills. Only the best for him. Everyone is happy until we have to look at his hairy ass. Then being up high aint such a good place to be.
Eww, enough of that. O.K. who else can we recruit. How about the copper molds hanging over the stove?
I don't know. They are a bit different if you know what I mean. Have you seen the salmon mousse, when she makes it? It's creepy. It's this ugly pink with olives for eyes and she uses almonds for scales.
Sick.
Then the jello mold is fine, but sometimes she puts carrots in it. Why? Why do they do that?
Alright, we'll put them on the reserve list.
What about the knives in the drawer?
They're dull.
No shit man..what about the turkey baster?
Sucker.
Alright, what's in the bottom drawer by the back door?
That's the graveyard drawer. Once they go in, you never see them again. They got some good looking things in there. Do you remember those party dudes?
Party dudes?
Yeah, the gin and Titonic ice cubes guys. They were the hit of the party.
The party where everyone came over to watch a movie. The one with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio?
Yup, that's the one. The next day. Gone. Gone to the drawer. Every now and again when it's really quiet you can hear their voices chanting. I'm king of the drawer. If that aint scary enough you start to hear Celine Dion sing.
*shudders*
O.K. we make the list and start working on our collective bargaining agreement. We gotta be smart.
Why?
Cause if the mallets get wind of this we could be toast. No offense bread.
What do you mean?
They are part of the goon squad. They will try to can us before we even get going. Have you seen them go to town on a chicken breast? It's rough and the mrs. she uses them all the time. They are some cocky sons of bitches.
I don't know this is getting dangerous.
You in or not? Once we start there's no going back.
I'm in. Make the call.
Hello, Norma. We need your help.
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